Cultivating Inner Strength as a Life Practice
Life isn't an easy, straightforward walk in the park. It's a journey; filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. There is no avoiding that. Yet, we can build our own inner strength and resilience so - no matter what we face - we will know, without a doubt, we can handle it.
How to build Inner Strength
1) Practice Putting Yourself First
This is NOT a free pass to be a selfish ass. This is a practice of teaching yourself your own self worth. We've all heard the saying "You can't pour from an empty cup." Well it's cliche, but true. You know when you're sitting on the tarmac, the plane is about to take off, and the flight attendants are giving their safety rundown? They tell you to put your own mask on before anyone else's. That's because you cannot help anyone else if you have nothing to give. If working out is important to you, make it a priority. If reading books makes you shine, carve out some time to curl up with a good read. If cooking brings you joy, find the time to pamper yourself with a Gordon Ramsay worthy meal. Make sure you're cultivating the life you want and need and not just letting life throw you around.
2) Practice Telling Fear to F*ck Off
Fear is our most limiting belief but there are ways to work through that. Practice moving passed your fear. In my life I've struggled with social anxiety, so I surrounded myself with larger than life personalities who showed me how to be extroverted and who challenged me to do the things that scared me. And guess what happened, I started to do them and they started to feel less scary. I began to learn that I could do this. Take baby steps to start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to prove to yourself how much of a badass you are!
3) Practice Clearing Your Mind
I know, you were really hoping meditation wasn't on this list. I swear though, it will change your damn life. You don't have to actually clear your mind by the way. But we can practice it, we can practice greeting our thoughts without judgement and letting them go. I like to walk myself to a river in my mind, or sometimes in real life, and practice placing my thoughts on a leaf and watching them float away, over and over until I feel myself really settle in. Not sure where to start? Looking for some unconventional mediation techniques? Check out my meditation blog.
4) Practice Forgiving Yourself
Healing is not a linear practice, and it's a life-long journey. I know, also not what you wanted to hear. You can practice this healing and self-forgiveness by shifting your perspective and thinking of these moments as learning experiences. Notice the way you're talking to yourself, if this were your best friend talking to you this way, would you still want to be friends with them? Try talking to yourself like you would the person you love most in the world. Learn the difference between guilt (acknowledging what you did wrong and wanting to change it) and shame (a painful feeling of humiliation that serves no real purpose in our life). Don’t let shame and fear paralyze you. Forgive yourself. You’re worth it.
5) Practice Celebrating Your Wins
When we're in negative self-talk cycles it can be so easy to focus on how far we have to go, and never stop and take inventory of how far we have come. This will lead to burn out. Take time out of your day to appreciate how far you've come. Get grateful about the work you've put in. Share your wins with the people who love you! They'll probably do a better job of being proud of you than you will.
Life can get overwhelming. But when we cultivate habits of inner strength it tends to makes the hard times a little easier to get through. Sometimes life is going to turn around and knock you on your ass and that hurts, and sometimes, it feels like you're back at square one - but knowing that you've dedicated time and energy to thriving can help.
Inner-strength and resilience aren't innate qualities some people have and others do not. It's a skill for us to practice and refine. This inner-strength and resilience can be an anchor for you when challenging moments arise. And don't forget, there is no shame in having to seek help. I've gone to therapists and psychiatrists for years to help work through some of my own issues. I'm always here to talk, but if you need some help finding a professional, here are some resources I’ve found helpful: